closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize