I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
