They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
