maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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