I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
