I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
