so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
