she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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