My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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