dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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