Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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