My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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