Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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