He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
