i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
