this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
