Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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