did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
