just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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