she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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