at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
