Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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