we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
