Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
