You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize