Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
