I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
