Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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