Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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