They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
