If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
