I think i peed on brittanys purse
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
