so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
