This is not my ceiling
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
