Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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