my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
