My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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