I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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