Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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