I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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