Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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