I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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