y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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