I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize