LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
