How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
