I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
