Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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