thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my being single is dangerous.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
