I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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