I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
