Duck Duck Cougar?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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