Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
