just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
he's gonorrhea incarnate
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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