Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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