doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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