i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
